A little of me! Sigh.

Circumstances are such that I desperately want to rant - to my heart's content. I want to write my heart out - now that sounds a little weird. Never mind. I just want to write. Now 'write'? Wrong. Type. Mainly due to the fact that I can type quite fast, without having to search for keys. But more so because I am quite dumb when it comes to writing on a piece of paper with a real pen. We dont have options (keys) to delete or backspace the stupid words - which I profusely produce. Enough of it. I want to write. And why? Because I miss life. Sigh. Really. * I miss waking up in the morning thinking about what to wear today and where I want to go and who I want to meet. Ask me why. Because I dont go anywhere these days. * I miss meeting people, wondering how weird we all are.* I miss going on LTC vacations. I hate to admit this - but I miss the twice-a-year luxury of business class air travel where I get to sit on bigger, wider, comfy seats. * Even worse, I hate having to look at other people jump with joy and pack their bags to leave for vacations when I have, emm, NONE.* I miss the part where I could read whatever I want to. * I sometimes get tired of my real tight schedule. And I then get this urge to jump into a pool of water and just lie there - without sinking, of course - like a yogi.* I hate the part where I lose all energy to do things I loved. Like say watch a movie, do some ghost writing for people, wreck horror in kitchen with my recipes that invariably flounder. * I hate the part where I am constrained to go off facebook, because: [1] people when they remember keep asking if and why I'm still not done with my exams. [2] the same set develops an interest in the result; [3] they put up pictures so full of life that I dont really have. * I hate the part where it rains and all I do is just stare at the rain and not get drenched in it. I hate the part where I begin to miss being out in the rain, with an umbrella that just wouldnt stay put, getting into all the potholes filled with the dirtiest waters in the world. * I truly absolutely loathe the part where I miss people I dont want to even think of - in normal times. * I hate the part where I know there are less than two months to go for the exam, and I need to buck up, or I'll just waste the chance, and despite this, I seem to run out of motivation and patience.* I hate the part I am blogging - in public - about all the little failings on my part, writing little (nothing) about the little things that still do cheer me up, of people who really support me through all this, of my own little self who puts up with myself through this. Well, I know its still a happy self I have with me. Worse, I hate the part where I know nobody's gonna read this. No. I am thankful for that - because I know I'm heaping a lot of shit here. * But this one's true - I dont like the fact that I am missing yoga for writing this. So here we go. I'm off to unfold the yoga mat. :)